My name is Charlotte Mugabe, so in 2023 I went through one the most painful times of my life. On the 3rdof June 2023 I was preparing to go out with my girl friends to celebrate my birthday little did I know that day was going to be the start of a fight for my
life.
I glammed up for the day and I was looking good and everything was good.
My husband went to drop me off to the restaurant to meet up with my friends. My
friends and I had dinner, enjoying good conversation, laughing, doing all the
fun and girly stuff. Behold all of a sudden I felt hot and I couldn’t breathe
and my heart was beating out of my chest. Everyone started to panic; I mean I
panicked myself I thought that was it I was going to die. My girls started
praying for me, and it got a bit better, I then later went to the clinic that
night and they just dismissed me saying it could have been something I ate that
made me feel that way. 2 days passed I was better, then on the third day I
started to feel weird like every time I ate I would feel food coming back to my
throat and be stuck there. It was horrible; I went from doctor to doctor with
them prescribing the same medicine that would not work, all of them telling me
it was acid reflux.
I did everything they asked me to do which I did and
nothing worked, tried Chinese medicine, Indian medicine, our own traditional
medicine and nothing would work. At that point I had lost a lot of weight and
still not getting answers. We prayed, people prayed from my church, other
churches as well, I even gave up on myself that dying would have made it
easier. I remember calling my mother and telling her that I was tired and I
just wanted to die. The only time I would catch a break was when I would fall
asleep at night.
This went on from June to November still with the same pain
but no help. It got to a point whenever I would leave the house I would feel
like I am dying ( my heart beating fast and having difficulty breathing), even
when people came to see me or call me I would get the same feeling, could this
be witchcraft I would ask myself I mean I am African, or was I going crazy/mad.
I remember a Pastor from my church came to see me with a group of friends, he
saw me and he was terrified. He then went to tell one of the psychiatrist from
church who later saw me and was able to diagnose me differently from all the
doctors I had seen I was so happy to get a different diagnoses like this could
be it. He said Charlotte you have anxiety disorder and this was in December
2023 when I started getting sick in June and no one knew what was wrong with me
which could have prevented all of the drama I went through.
This is to say people do not know it when they have mental disorders. A lot of women go through this in silence because of so many stigmas attached to the ‘mental illnesses’. I
started my healing journey right there after the diagnoses and I am happy to
say I am way better with the help of my family, psychiatrist, therapist and my
church family. Also I wouldn’t have done this without prayer. This has been a
journey, I am only sharing a glimpse of what I went through, because Hell is
the only word that comes to mind when I think of the journey. Till to this day
I still wake up at night and cry I amstill here by God’s grace.
